Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
