he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize