he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
