Christians are straight up FREAKS
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
