okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
