This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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