he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
