I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
