why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize