I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
