HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize