maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize