I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize