I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We have started to decorate penises.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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