dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
