this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Too much gin, very little bucket
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
