it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
