So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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