Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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