last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
