My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
