its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
