"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize