Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
