They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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