chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
