i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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