You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm at about main and main street
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
