He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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