The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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