Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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