make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
