you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
