i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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