he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
