I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
