Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Drake has all the answers
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
