she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize