I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
