ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
