their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
