He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
