he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
