This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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