Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
