i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
