hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
