Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
