Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
