Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
