Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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