My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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