Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
