At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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