He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Someone came in the potted fern
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
