508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
