It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
